OCTOBER STORIES 2011

DaddyGoth · **Posted:** Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:33 am

I will finally be reading the rest of these this weekend and I will provide feedback. I've read a few, but would prefer posting feedback for all at once. Too many other things to do recently, but I will provide the promised feedback.

Craig Cook · **Joined:** Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:25 pm **Posts:** 5340

Jazminsdaddy wrote:

It kinda sucks when your story has been posted in the bottom half.

You got that right.

Craig Cook · **Joined:** Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:25 pm **Posts:** 5340

Bueller...Bueller...Bueller...

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:05 am

*whew*

Narrowly missed being hit by a tumbleweed.

TMLCrow · **Posted:** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:52 pm

Let's see. Paulo said some nice things about my story, so I want to say thanks for that.

Horrordude seemingly stopped right before my story, and no one else is reading them, I guess. Call me when someone says something on here.

DaddyGoth · **Posted:** Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:06 pm

Yeah, it took me long enough, but here's my (brief) feedback on the stories:

The Deal -- Very good read, suspenseful with a great POV change
Gamorrah Falls -- Another very good read, but like others have said, it seems like a longer story that was compressed to fit the length requirements. It needed a bit more fleshing out.
Walker -- Definitely the closest to the theme regarding childhood horror stories and written in the style of a campfire tale. A good story.
Excerpt From... -- I liked this one, but it seemed disjointed in places. It definitely needed some more backstory to it.
Across the Street -- The second closest to the theme of childhood horror stories. A good story, but Walker was a bit better in regards to the stories most closely matching the theme.
El Maestro -- Weird, quirky, funny -- yeah, that's Craig. Oh, and the story too.

Good for several chuckles and as a break from the horror-themed stories preceding it.
The Beach -- Really good story and the end was a bit confusing. I have my own theory as to what happened, which may or may not have been mentioned in this thread (I'll have to check).
My Sister -- Having recently read Prodigal Blues, this one is in the same vein. Good suspenseful story.
Burning Rain -- Nice gruesome imagery at the end, good story, and good conclusion to the bunch.

There's the Cliff's/David's Notes on the stories. They were all good reads and I hope/plan to participate in the next one.

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Wed Nov 23, 2011 4:17 pm

DaddyGoth wrote:

The Beach -- Really good story and the end was a bit confusing. I have my own theory as to what happened, which may or may not have been mentioned in this thread (I'll have to check).

Please share.

JJHolden · **Joined:** Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:25 am **Posts:** 1288

Thanks for the feedback! Much appreciated.

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:26 pm

Hey Tony,

Where did the idea of Burning Rain come from? Seems a bit different from your other stories.

TMLCrow · **Posted:** Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:15 pm

I told Tony that, to me, it felt very Tim Curran-like. But I forget if he actually told me how he came up with it. Good question, Chris.

ttzuma · **Joined:** Wed Feb 14, 2007 10:15 pm **Posts:** 12702

I think I said it here that Burning Rain was not the original story I had emailed to Rob for the exercise. That original story was a reaction to a different, 8500 word story I wrote called "The Visitor" that was rejected. The editor told me that I was very talented but The Visitor was too traditional for the publication. So when I wrote that original story for Rob, I was trying to make it as untraditional as I could get it to be. It turned out to be very "out there" and had quite the sexual element to it. I asked Rob to hold it because I found some historical inaccuracies with it concerning the culture the story was set in. After I corrected it, I chickened out on sending it in so I had to come up with a new one.

While this was going on, I had this first line of a story in my head for about a week, I even wrote it down and kept it on my nightstand so I wouldn't forget it. That's all I had though, that first line, I didn't have a plot to go with it. The line was...."We all watched Frankie die." I kept playing with it at night just before I went to sleep and wound up changing it to..."We all watched Frankie burn to death."

One weekend evening, I sat down at my computer and typed that line in, but the story that followed had nothing to do with the line. It was one of those stories that kept writing itself, and I honestly got all of it down in one sitting. I let it sit a day, and then went back and cleaned it up and then submitted it to Rob.

I still have that line written down, and I still think about it. I just haven't come up with a good story to go along with it yet.

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:24 am

Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about the creative process and that was an interesting story.

JJHolden · **Joined:** Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:25 am **Posts:** 1288

Agreed. That was a cool read, and I'm in awe at how many story ideas Tony had in his head at the time. I tend to be a serial monogamist with ideas - they arrive and I'm stuck with them for the duration, for good or ill.

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:37 pm

Time to relegate this thread to the Writer's Den.

Craig Cook · **Joined:** Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:25 pm **Posts:** 5340

Jazminsdaddy wrote:

Time to relegate this thread to the Writer's Den.

We could just pretend that it moved. We could probably switch this to the "Secret Thread" as much as it gets looked at. :roll

Jazminsdaddy · **Posted:** Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:24 pm

Our stories got shafted being in the second half of stories. Most people read and commented on the first batch.

Craig Cook · **Joined:** Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:25 pm **Posts:** 5340

Hey, these made it over to the Writer's Den!

OCTOBER STORIES 2011

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