Everybody! Sorry I’m so late getting back on the board; I’m still bogged down with my mother’s posthumous affairs, etc. but I need to tell you about my trip to Poland. First: it was THE BEST trip of my life! No exaggeration. The city was Wroclaw (pronounced “vrawclahv” roughly.) It’s the cleanest and most interesting city I’ve ever set foot in. Everybody’s NICE. No clunkers, junkies, a-holes, etc., walking the street. It’s a city of a million people. I asked my agent, Bartek, about crime rates and he said, “Oh, there’s lots of crime here. 2 weeks ago, we had a shooting. A guy got shot in the leg.” My brow raised, then I asked, “How many shootings per year?” “Well, that was the first one in 7 years,” he alighted me. Shit, they have two shooting PER NIGHT in D.C.! Bartek is a tremendous guy, and he and his girlfriend Sonia showed me around the city, and he also got a tour guide to show me around. Wroclaw is a legend-shrouded city. IT’s ancient. The mix of architecture is fascinating: modern shopping centers interspersed with communist era apartments interestpersed with churches tht are 500 years old. One church was completed in 1212 A.D. It would take too long to tell you all the great ghost stories (there’s a “witches bridge”, the petrified head of a miser sticking out of an medieval wall, and opened mall full of happy tourists and citizen that used to be the Executioner’s Square, and a delightful brick walkway under which 23 headless bodies of criminals have been reposing for hundreds of years! The convention, Polcon, was fantastic. I got to meet Robert C. (Don’t ASK me to spell his last name) who’s my editor, and Jakub, who’s published me in his magazine; plus tons of other great folks in the field. I signed many books (so far Succubi, Creekers, and Golem have been published there), was interviewed by several tv stations, did several interviews before an audience, and we even had a HEADER viewing. A good many viewers walked out by the first header scene, which is a great compliment!, and those with the stomach to stay enjoyed the film. Oh, and the food. Everything I ate in Wroclaw was outstanding, even the fish sandwich at McDonald’s! It was BETTER than a U.S. fish sandwich. Everything’s, especially food, is about 30 percent cheaper than here. A simple Polish buffet serves up regoinal cuisine that blows away the best Polish restaurants I’ve been to here. 16 ounce tap beers cost about 3 bucks, but this ain’t Bud Light, folks, it the real McCoy, local lagers and pilsners. I’ve all but quit drinking these days but I’ll admit I had a total of 8 beers during the trip. The hotel was high end (the Mercure). In all I couldn’t have been treated better and I’ve never enjoyed a trip as much. Nor have I ever encountered a higher percentage of wonderful, genuine, and self-respectful people.
(Ah, and now here comes the unavoidable sexist-pig observation: I’ve never EVER seen a higher percentage of attractive women anywhere! And the strip joint...well, that’s another story. A particular delight was meeting Karolina who was a volunteer for the convention and also was kind enough to translate my Q&A and interview. She’s just simply totally 100-percent cool, and she told me some enthralling tidbits about “villagers” or the non-city dwellers who suffice for Polish rednecks. There’s even a name for them (but I can’t spell it, of course) and they’re a very superstitious clan. They believe any woman with green eyes is a witch and they eat–ready for this?–dog fat! I can’t wait to see her again and find out more about this new manner of redneck. I’m SURE there’ll be a story about them! Also, I love this city so much, I’m returning next summer at my own expense to live there for at least a month because it instantly occurred to me that Wroclaw is the PERFECT setting for one of the novels I have outlined. I wish I could go back sooner but there’s one drawback about this wonderful city: it’s REAL COLD in the winter. I don’t know if I could hack it but who knows? Maybe I’ll give it a shot! I’ll be back on the board soon to get to some of the other threads. (And I won’t forget to tell you about a TREMENDOUS horror flick I just saw on pay per view called V/H/S!)

Later, friends!

Edward Lee

Sounds like you had an awesome time! Thats great! You deserve it!
By the way, they have some pretty killer metal bands over there, like Behemoth and Vader. Although i am mostly a blues/jazz guy, its pretty kickass stuff. I cut my teeth on it growing up lol.
now, back to my petty silence until we get another Infernal Series book from you SIR!! LOL!

Joys of life my friend,
Brandon Lee Spitler.

Oh man, that sounds like a blast. Always wanted to go to Poland. Also, as a war buff, it would be top notch to see alot of the original towns and villages, and see how everything is since the war... I've heard people say it's like another world. Also have heard people say the women are outstanding. I getvmy hair cut by a polish lady, and though over the hill, and slightly chubby, she possesses a quality that make the hairs on my neck stand... Oh wait, maybe that's just the shaver. Screw it, I'm going for a hair cut today ha.

Lee - it was great to have you here and you're always welcome in Poland. Can't wait to see you again, my friend!

That was a great read, I need to go on vacation!

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BRUTAL BEEF

Lee, that was a super-cool overview of your trip to Poland. Glad to hear you had such a fantastic time...and hey, if was a rough job at those Polish stripclubs but someone had to do it, right?

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Welcome back, Lee! I heard real polish sausage is out of this world! And that they dont call it Polish sausage. lol!
Glad you came back safe, man. See you at KillerCon

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So glad you had fun on your trip to Poland!! You deserve it after the year you've had!

Is it really illegal to smoke in public there?? Seems weird, since in the States the only place you can smoke is outside.

Konnie

Hey Lee! Thanks for the update as usual. We are so lucky to be fans of one of the most unique voices in the field! Your recap of the trip was dynamite! Wish I could have been a fly on the wall the whole time! So cool that you have fans around the world. Just wanted to say welcome back, buddy!

Bob

No, I was wrong about public smoking; you just can't smoke indoors. The airports have these cool "smokers stations" unlike a good many us airports. The Wroclaw airport is small but immaculate and, like everywhere else I visited, FULL of nice people. But as for smoking, it's discouraged (which it should be). (Very soon I'm going to give my all to quitting real cigarettes in favor of electronic cigarettes like I did several years ago. I'm SICK of smoke!) And I just can't wait to go back which is saying something since I'm not real keen on traveling. (As for haircuts, somebody told me there was a place where the barber cuts your hair with a candle flames instead of scissors, but I never actually saw it.) The one thing I forgot to get foodwise was kielbasa; everything else (perogies, pork cutlet, ham knuckles, potato pancakes, etc.) was outstanding. In all, I hugely recommend traveling to Wroclaw. There were no negatives, seriously. It's a superlative place full of superlative people.

Later!
Edward Lee

Too cool, Lee. I was going to ask about the food, so thanks for mentioning that. My grandmother, who passed away in the late 80's, made homemade pierogies that were awesome!

Chris

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