|Sullygram...June 2012 newsletter
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|Author:||Thomas (Sully) Sullivan [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:41 pm ]|
|Post subject:||Sullygram...June 2012 newsletter|
Dragonflies idle in the air, then change lanes as if the breeze is a three-dimensional highway. They seem to have an abundance of free will – free everything – and no rules whatever! Not so the seed pod parachutes that lock onto airy currents to distant destinations or are driven by zephyrs into the earth like gossamer comets. They have blind faith in their journey’s end but no control. In a universe of metaphors, which one are you? Do you chart your own path, or are you carried along by prevailing currents and the hope of a safe landing?
Call this a dragonfly’s diary because I'm zigzagging through the summer with more flightplan than I can record here. I'll try to catch up in July with things like Bluesfest 8 and circumnavigating the globe by canoe on Memorial Day weekend. News near and dear to my heart includes three upcoming book releases and a stunning new album from my buddy Glenn Frey. Check out my June 1 FB comment for details on Glenn and a video link. More on publication is upcoming, and my website will have the latest as it breaks, but the biggest book news is at the end of this newsletter.
There is just no getting around the fact that "love makes the world go round." And man, did you guys ever set the globe spinning! The Feb Q&A column on StorytellersUnplugged [ http://storytellersunplugged.com/thomas ... carousels/ ] brought in such profound reaction that I'm guilt-ridden over taking four months to get back to it. Thanks for sharing and responding. I'll continue to try to be as honest and forthcoming as you are, but the complexities make it like trying to capture a waterfall in a teacup. So forgive me if I temporarily dodge all your interest in more details about my inamorata – still working on that. The column this month does sum up a slew of questions that came in regarding one aspect of relationships/love/marriage. Basically those Qs boiled down to my attitude toward marriage, i.e. was I too chicken to take the leap or too shallow to commit? I plead “not guilty” on both counts, but yes, I did say it was probably "my last chance to be domesticated." So, that's what gets elaborated on for June. Here's a column excerpt from AARDVARKS, QUEEN VICTORIA & A DRAWER FULL OF LINGERIE:
A: Never say never, if you don't want life to make you eat your words. But I think I'm beyond marriage except by another name – like Private Relationship maybe. Formal marriage seems increasingly to have more to do with society's interests than the connection of two individuals. Maybe it was always so. Even the Christian church was founded on celibacy ("…it is good for a man not to touch a woman") and only reluctantly accepted marriage ("…it is better to marry than to burn") until kings wanting divorces became political leverage between Rome and London. Before then marriage for the poor and the common was as informal as parlor vows; ditto divorce. If a House, Kingdom, fortune or power alliance wasn't at stake, no one paid much notice. And if a marriage was worthy of attention, it was usually "Arranged" and had little to do with personal choice or preference. But after royal divorce became an issue about halfway through Christian history, you'd have thought Christianity invented marriage. So out came the rulebook – check out the laughable prescriptions of 17th century Brother Cherubino da Spoleto – and then of course Queen Victoria made big weddings as fundamental as Original Sin. Sorry to jump through history at warp speed here, but the bottom line is that I don't see marriage as particularly indispensable to the private relationship and passionate intimacies of two people. And I don't mean to single out the Church as an authoritarian example. The Communists, especially in China, were equally repressive toward marriage, and like the Church eventually tried simply to manage what they couldn't suppress. But all societies insert themselves into the connections between people in an effort to suppress what they consider threatening and to endorse their own ever-changing values and mores. It never works beyond the façade of the bedroom door or the truths of the human heart, behind which people will be what people will be. I don't have patience for social orchestrations, but neither do I need to demonstrate disdain for social realities or the complex practicalities of life. Live and let live. So speaking for just myself, I'll skip the appearances and live behind the scenes. Like I said, Private Relationship…
[Can you believe it, he wrote all that and didn't say anything…OK, gimme another shot here – BANG, right to the heart. Srsly, my pathetic romantic history is a waste compared to your amazing feedback. Here’s another penetrating Q – save me, Dallas, TX!]
Q: [male, Dallas, TX] I didn’t think I would ask someone this but you write so positively about pain. I can’t stop hurting from a relationship 8 yrs ago that was the best thing I ever experienced. How do you heal?
A: Heal? You say it was the best thing in your life, are you sure you want to heal? Eight years – I guess you're not that young, so I get that your life experience is saying it was truly beyond all the norms of love. And if it is, then none of the conventional wisdom applies. Most people would "move on." But then, most people eventually blend serial loves into something less than what they once believed was possible. Whether you call that compromise or maturity, is that something you could do? If it isn’t, then I don't have an answer for you. At least not one you'd like. Maybe keeping your ill-fated love alive, even with all the pain, is letting you feel a vitality your heart tells you can never be equaled. I'm not printing the bulk of your poignant e-mail here, which is quite compelling as to the depth of the relationship and how it could possibly wind up where it did. For sure the people who scoffed at you have never experienced that level of connection. The universal experience is that romance is only a phase, and it’s difficult to understand how a feeling of newness and excitement between two people can become hard-wired. But if someone somehow does leaves their DNA that deep in your soul – well, high water marks are by nature indelible. I hope I'm coming through here as the believer in idealistic romance you take me for. I do empathize. It’s one thing to sort through photos, a hairbrush, a drawer full of lingerie…it’s another to sift through the music of the night or the ache in your throat or that singing in the blood like the highest note of a violin that never goes away. And if your minds were the match you imply they were, then maybe a far deeper than average communication, trust, openness, honesty and all the nuances of expression and pulse-quickening subtleties were an ongoing part of your experience too. Not surprising if healing from that is just not an option. Even in limbo, memories can be the bedrock of dreams. I’ve only been there once, but once is all you CAN be there, if it’s the love of your life.
You can read the whole column plus comments at this link: http://storytellersunplugged.com/thomas ... -lingerie/
Folk Singer and water polo buddy Doc Foto (Mark Manrique) is in assassination mode again (see his two doctored photos below), taking advantage of a misconception that I was skinny dipping in that Idaho hot springs a couple months back. I swear on my sainted saxophone I was wearing a SPEEDO! You don't think the evil doctor is just pining for his own past, do you? I mean, he used to be a swinging sinner, but now he’s just a singing swimmer (yuk-yuk). The Blast-from-the-Past photo below is proof positive of how innocent I was am. The remaining seven pictures capture some of the variety in a favorite hiking park – Crow-Hassan main.
Note: if this is a mirror site and you don't see photos, you can find all Sullygrams archived on my author's web page>Sullygrams & Columns. My webmaster Ed Picard in California usually has the latest one up within a day.
And I've saved the best news for last. My WorldFantasy Best Novel finalist THE MARTYRING is now out in a superb audio edition from the master of vocal talents Bob Walter. It’s available with a free sample at: http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_1_1?as ... 231&sr=1-1
Hello, Michigan! I'm on my way…
Thomas “Sully” Sullivan
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