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First Dates From Hell http://horrorworld.org/msgboards/viewtopic.php?f=58&t=7363 |
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Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 3:35 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
I will add my comments as well. Forbidden Love: As I said earlier I found the prose to be very elegant. On a pure writing level this is my favourite story. First Date: The Alzheimer's conceit is very very clever bordering on genius. Great idea! It's something I wish I had thought of. Holes: I took me a few reads to warm up to this story but I am definitely on board now. I like quirkiness and this story has it in bunches. I also thought it was pretty funny. My Father: A flat out masterpiece of short story writing. This writer (whoever it is) has a Stephen King like career ahead of him. Filling The Abyss: This story definitely put the most vivid pictures in my head. Great writing! Could definitely be expanded. The Perfect Woman: Awesome idea for a story with a great ending. One of my faves. Last First Date: See comments on My Father and apply it to this story. Angela: As I mentioned before I like it. I like female revenge fantasies and this was a good one. Very impressive cosidering it was almost a stream-of-conciousness thing written in an hour. Guys, if you go on a date with Shari be very very nice to her. Good job guys and gal. Let's do it again! |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 3:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | ttzuma [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 3:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | TMLCrow [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:12 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Well, since it was part of the deal, here are my thoughts. Angela--I liked the fact that Angela wasn't a calculating person. The ending is just someone snapping and the best part is the author let us know Angela's feelings at the end. Forbidden Love--A well-executed story (no pun intended). I liked how the author showed that sometimes something horrific comes from doing nothing at all. Holes--A magnificent homage to the Mighty Vernon. Filling The Abyss--Very noir. The pacing and beat of the story was nice and I wish I could do something like that. My Father--I think this almost had an ethereal quality to it. I know the author wishes to have a Stephen King-like career, but this story reminded me somewhat of a Pic story, like Thrust, where you weren't quite sure if you're the reader or the character. First Date--I liked that the "twist" didn't come right at the end. It happened and the author allowed the ending to grow from the Alzheimer's revelation. Last First Date--I know what you wanted to do with this, JD, but honestly to me this read like a shortened beginning of a novel or novella. This is one that, if you wanted to pursue it, should be expanded on to see where it takes you. The Perfect Woman--Obviously the author didn't have a clue as what to write about before it was sent in. This was something just pulled out of his ass. His original thought was to write a story about mating Praying Mantis', for pete's sake. He did steal and rework the ending of that story into the ending you read. He hadn't written anything that slow and deliberate until this story. He hopes to stop trying to have M. Night Shamaylan endings. It's been so long since he's been on a date he isn't even sure when women are flirting with him. He hopes to do better next time, but, since he is more into experimenting with things such as tenses as this group progresses than writing a polished story, he makes no promises. |
Author: | ttzuma [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Well, we now know which story Thad wrote! I knew it was Filling The Abyss. tt |
Author: | ShariTN [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:35 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | ShariTN [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Oh and BTW I'm over my PMS now so if anyone wishes to point out my mistakes and tell me what kinds of things need to be changed or done differently feel free...I'd like to know for future writings And I promise not to bite off anyone's head (Or chop it off with a kitchen cleaver ) |
Author: | ttzuma [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:28 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | Craig Cook [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 9:34 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | tgarsenault [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
I am sure most of you don't know me here, but I would like to thank Tony for sending me the link and the opportunity to read these great stories! Am I guessing right in that Tony is a Steve Vernon fan? Your stories have some great elements with some very memorable endings. For some reason, the old coot getting a beat down by some angry old women keeps me laughing...and wincing. I think I may have a cane phobia. Great job, everyone! |
Author: | Craig Cook [ Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:55 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Haha, I just saw that Ttzuma pimped all our stories to various author boards! |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:13 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:14 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | horrordude [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 7:10 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | ttzuma [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 9:25 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Thanks Tim (TG)! Tim's finishing up his latest, Bleeding The Vein that hopefully will be published in 2010 (if he finishes it on time). If you get a chance you should visit T.G.'s author board and read about the wild changes in his life over the last year or so. Oh...that part about the goats...well... I made that up! And whats wrong with asking respected author's to give us some words of encouragement? I think which ever author decides to do so, shows how much they care about the genre as well as their fans. I think it's cool that so far Tim and Pic have commented! Tt |
Author: | tgarsenault [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:39 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Ahh, yes...the goats |
Author: | TMLCrow [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:59 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | Tasmaniac [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 3:22 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Nice thread! Enjoyed all the stories, with some nice twists along the way. HOLES - nice concept, I dig it MY FATHER - some wonderful lines in that piece. Well done to all, keep those keyboard fingers a'tappin' Steve. |
Author: | ttzuma [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 3:23 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | ttzuma [ Sat Dec 19, 2009 3:33 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | horrordude [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:27 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | SteveVernon [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:11 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Whew. I'm sitting here sipping on an ugly cup of coffee thinking ugly thoughts about the ugly snow I'm going to have to shovel when I decided it was time I took Tony's advice and check this thread out. Nice stories people. It's never easy - writing to length and subject but some of you folks have really outdone yourselves. ANGELA: a nice tale that could use a little more work in spots. Good sense of character though. MY FATHER: Haunting, very subtle. Who ever wrote this definitely is not just farting around. My favorite. HOLES: Got a nice flow to it. A little stiff in parts – I think it might have been better served with a first person point of view. My only real beef was the protagonist was just too unbelievable – who in the hell would name a kid Steve Vernon??? (and for my money I would have to guess that Horrordude wrote HOLES) FORBIDDEN LOVE: I do love me an historical, but this one felt more like the opening of something a little larger. This story was definitely handicapped by the length restriction. FIRST DATE: Good glimpse into the mind of a multiple rapist. I found it a little “stiff” towards the end but the Alzheimer’s angle worked nicely. Another story that might better have been told in a longer format. My guess - Ttzuma is the culprit. FILLING THE ABYSS: A good tale of frustrated revenge. THE PERFECT WOMAN: This is definitely well told, with a fine conversational style that takes the reader by the hand and leads him on his journey. It could have used a bit more of a hook in the end, but who ever wrote this definitely is a writer. |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:04 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Thanks for the comments Steve. Now if people would just admit what stories they wrote! |
Author: | HugeHorrorFan [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:36 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Well, I am going to come clean as I should have already done this on Saturday. I want to thank everyone in advance for all the pointers and comments. It was great to have a story critiqued without any strings. I wrote FIRST DATE. |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:48 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Just so I can be clear: ANGELA: Shari MY FATHER: Jazminsdaddy HOLES: FORBIDDEN LOVE: Craig FIRST DATE: HHF FILLING THE ABYSS: THE PERFECT WOMAN: Thad |
Author: | TMLCrow [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:29 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:21 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Author: | ttzuma [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:19 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
Thanks a million Steve for adding your commments! For those that might not know, Steve Vernon is the author of....wait a minute...what am I doing... EVERYBODY knows who Stever Vernon is... Tt |
Author: | ShariTN [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:44 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
I don't know Stever.... I, sadly have not read any of his books yet either. What to start with? |
Author: | TMLCrow [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:42 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: First Dates From Hell |
You should still be able to get these without breaking the bank: Plague Monkey Spam Hard Roads (his best!!!) Long Horn, Big Shaggy Nothing To Lose (Captain Nothing rocks ) Gypsy Blood You'll have so much fun reading Stever's stuff. Horror Mall or Amazon should have most of them. |
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