Before you do the following, don't eat or drink.

Now, google "santorum."

And please don't hate me.

Don't have to. Already know. I find it fitting.

_________________
The GOP doesn't trust women when it comes to vaginas any more than they trust scientists when it comes to science.

Ahhhhhhhhh.........

Tomorrow Mark goes in for surgery. They are fixing a deviated septum, removing his tonsils and the dangly thing at the back of his throat and shaving part of the roof of his mouth off. The form they sent home with him to fill out freaked me out. It pretty much gave me power of attorney in case of a medical emergeny or death. But in really spelled out creepy language. It is not like both of us were nervous before we read that paper. Sheesh
It seems like once you past 40 you are fully aware that you can die at any moment. I would prefer that not to happen tomorrow please.

_________________

Victory is MINE!!! Bonus: Pissing off the assistant manager of B&N.

1) They tried to double charge me for a textbook.
2) The disks that came with the textbook didn't work. (When you put a cd in and you get the prompt: Please insert cd, something's not right.) They didn't want to do an exchange because I opened the packaging.

I showed them the email I got and the time I received it. I showed them the financial aid report showing that they charged me for the book BEFORE they sent me an email. And then I showed them the receipt when I came in and picked up the book. AM started getting snarky with me about the refund. Then he tried to tell me that I couldn't exchange the book because I opened the packaging. I won when I asked him if he knew of someway I could load a cd without taking it out of the packaging because if there was I was going to patent it and make millions...He damn near threw the book at me.

_________________
The GOP doesn't trust women when it comes to vaginas any more than they trust scientists when it comes to science.

Good for you, Victor. Can't argue with the paperwork. Just ask Al Capone.


Jody, I hope everything goes smoothly, today. Ops are scary, post general anaesthetic jitters can be... interesting... But at the end of the day I'm sure he'll be fine. Wishing you the best.

_________________
http://louis-eldest.livejournal.com/

Good luck Mark! Let us know how it turns out Jody.

Good luck with the surgery.

_________________
The GOP doesn't trust women when it comes to vaginas any more than they trust scientists when it comes to science.

Good luck Mark

_________________
http://thegingernutcase.blogspot.com/

Good luck, fellow book reading Horror World member.

_____________________________________________________________

Other news ... it's cold as hell here! I went outside to check the moonshine in the back yard, and ran into a racoon named Otis who offered me five dead mice for a night in my basement next to the furnace.

I used a piece of cold chicken to reason with him, and he took off soon after.

_________________
“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” - Joseph Conrad.

You should have offered him a cold pizza and a warm beer

Hope everything goes well, Jody!





Shouldn't you be inside drinking the moonshine? Leaving it outside seems like a surefire way to get caught.

(I remember getting this email years ago, but saw it again and thought I would share):

Subject: COURT REPORTERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while
the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a
new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

I brought Mark home today. Everything went well but holy crap does he look like it is going to hurt like freaking hell. His nose is bleeding constantly into a pad that is taped to his face and every time he swallows he looks like he wants to scream. YIKES

_________________

Here's to Mark making a speedy recovery - glad everything went as well as it could have.

On a different topic, I started back at UMKC today. Oddly, I feel old.

Good luck to Mark on his convalescence.

And Craig...you are far from being old...

If Craig's old, I'm the Crypt Keeper.

_________________
http://louis-eldest.livejournal.com/

Best to Mark during his recovery, Jody. Don't spoil him too much.

Craig and old are two words I just don't see going well together.

Really? Because that is how I envision them...

Have Mark suck on shaved ice - small chips. Less swallowing involved

Craig was born in the eighties for crying out loud!!

Man, when did people start being born in the eighties?

_________________
Eulogies II: Tales from the Cellar

http://www.facebook.com/groups/167261980056002/

january 1st,1980
I was born in 1986!

Now I feel ancient

_________________

Geez people, I didn't say I was old, I said I felt old. It just seemed odd knowing that I'm probably 7-8 years older than most of the class.

7-8 YEARS!!! Stay focused, grandpa, and don't let those young college girls tempt you.

I read this article 74 times:

http://news.yahoo.com/could-internet-ad ... 16822.html

_________________

I like this Twitter horror story by writer Matt Fraction:

"Clawing under their seats they feel pills there, and weird meat. YOU GET CANCER shouts Plague-Oprah AND YOU GET CANCER AND YOU GET CANCER."

_________________
Eulogies II: Tales from the Cellar

http://www.facebook.com/groups/167261980056002/

You will notice a huge attitude difference between the "day" students and the more mature ones.