Me answering Jody's question nailed it for you?
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| OCTOBER STORIES 2011 http://horrorworld.org/msgboards/viewtopic.php?f=58&t=10754 |
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| Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Thad and Craig, why do you guys think I wrote The Beach? |
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| Author: | Craig Cook [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | TMLCrow [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Hellolost [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Across the Street: For some reason I got emotionally involved in this story. So much that I didn't even hear my boyfriend walk up behind me. He scared the crap out of me. I loved the twist on the "haunted house" story. Who ever wrote this got under my skin. Sucked me in. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this story. Thank you. I do wish I knew what happened with Dorothy. See you left me wanting more. |
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| Author: | JJHolden [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
The Beach isn't me. I wish it was, it's a very cool story. |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
El Maestro: OK... I don't exactly get the haunted house part but the story was awesome. (Is haunted house on a street suppose to be the theme?) I totally cracked up while reading this. Probably not your normal reaction but I loved the idea of the crazy teacher in a bunny suit. And I enjoyed his over the top revenge for teenage pranksters. OK that kind of makes me sound a little off but well most of us are off on this board right? Why didn't the kids beat the crap out of him though? I have to wonder how the hell I ended up on a board of writers when I am just a reader though. |
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| Author: | Craig Cook [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | JJHolden [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | TMLCrow [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Craig Cook [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | TMLCrow [ Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
For sure Jody. Not enough people comment. You took the time. Thanks! |
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| Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Craig Cook [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Me answering Jody's question nailed it for you?
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| Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Craig Cook [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Huh. I suppose so. 
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| Author: | JJHolden [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 1:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Must give a shout out to Kurt, too. Some good feedback! 
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| Author: | dennislatham [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
I've had a chance to read each story over for the second time. They are all great, given the 1500 word limit and the time limit. I think any story under 2000 words is most difficult to write. I prefer stories with at least some dialogue. When there isn't any dialogue to break it up, I have to concentrate to keep from skimming and maybe miss something important. I'm not going to critique every story because one of the stories is mine, and I couldn't do that without revealing which one is mine. I did notice in Gomarrah Falls that the lead character used a 357 automatic. The 357 is a magnum round and is only used in revolvers (with the spinning cylinder) probably because of the bullet length and extra powder charge and the need for a stronger frame. I've never seen one used in an automatic containing a magazine. It would probably be best to change it to a 40 cal or 45 which is standard for the automatic and just as powerful as the 357. I didn't understand the end of The Beach. I thought the story was well written, but unless I missed something, I couldn't figure out if she was killing herself or was a mermaid. I know she was different and had legs and toes. And then she thought she would regret not kissing back for the rest of her life so she probably wasn't going to kill herself. But how did he know where to leave her and who was the other woman in the water? I have to assume she was a mermaid of mermaid legend, but it wasn't clear. I guess I'm one of those readers who sometimes can't see between the lines and need things explained a little. I do the same thing in my own writing, and often have to remind myself that even though I know what's happening because I'm writing it, the reader may not be clear on what is happening. By the way, I have no clue who wrote what except for one story. |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
The Beach: The beginning of this story made the little movie theater in my head go off. I watched the walking on the beach. I watched the fireworks and the childlike wonder. I watched the kiss. Then the name threw me off. Daniel. oh was this the first gay kiss for this boy. I settled back with a small smile and got ready for a fun ride. Except I am sorry to say the ride never started. After the kiss and the seashell in the hand I got a bit lost. More like confused. I have to be honest and say I have no idea what the heck happened. Why did he dive in the water? Did he die and see a ghost? Who was that lady and why did the kid smell of the kiss on the beach? I just wasn't satisfied with the ending. Great now I feel bad. BUT it wasn't the writing style. That was perfectly fine. It just seemed like something important was missing from the second half of the story. |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
My Sister: I enjoyed this story even though the age of 118 at the beginning threw me off a bit. Made me wonder if it was a typo but I kept reading. I could completely imagine the horror that kid felt as his kid sister was taken. I am not quite sure why he decided to place an ad in the paper. I think that could be fleshed out a bit but I love the idea that he kept doing it over and over again. And I completely enjoyed the ride from reality to legend that the lollypop man became. (see I gave him a name in my head lol) Good job! |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Burning rain: Oh how I wish I had a tiny bit of back story with this story. Some sort of flashback to when times were normal to explain what brought it to this point. Something that explained what a Spidler was or a Gorildog was in more detail other then something to be feared. Why is everyone eating each other? How will the human race survive if they eat their children as soon as they are born? Why are the kids alone? What in the hell happened? But other then that LMAO!!! the story obviously hooked me. It made me want to know more. The writing was crisp and clear and made the movie theater in my head go. This was a excellently told story. One little nit pick..... the sentence: He knew there was no more canned food in plain site anymore....... shouldn't that be sight? side note: Obviously I was wrong about the haunted house thing. |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Wait how did I miss Excerpt From the novel “Mostly Fiction But All Completely True" by _____ _____ pg. 322: going to read it now |
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Excerpt From the novel “Mostly Fiction But All Completely True" by _____ _____ pg. 322: I enjoyed this. However some of the spelling errors (& wrong words) took me out of the story. Now don't get me wrong I am a horrible speller most of the time but when I am reading that is one of the things that make me fall out of a story. This story if in an anthology (like the last one) would make me go look up the author to see if I could read more from them. It was just enough of a tease that I was left wanting more. Good job! I really hope I am not coming off as a bitch in these reviews. I am just being honest. 
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Damn that is all there is  I would totally have paid for these stories in a book and been happy with the money spent. Now I get to read what other people wrote. *runs. |
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| Author: | Jazminsdaddy [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
Jody, I'll forgive you the review of The Beach because of your review of My Sister. 
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| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
So I reread them all and have been mulling. I will post my follow up thoughts in a bit. |
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| Author: | Craig Cook [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 7:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | Hellolost [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
I would like to know the story of what happened to the feeder in the deal. Maybe a flashback showing me what showed itself to him. Gamorrah falls... still love it. It was vivid and fun to read. I wouldn't mind reading a more fleshed out version of the walker. Across the street wins a prize for grabbing me emotionally since none of the other stories did that. Can you imagine how fun it would be to read a book filled with El Maestro type stories. The smile that would be on our faces Who ever wrote burning rain... I need more story. This is the one that will haunt me with the whys and whats. Seriously! I need more of this story. *waits I need the middle....or is it the beginning of the beach. I just need the piece that is missing. My sister had the best mental creep factor for me. More of a tie into reality. A this could happen... although across the street had that same this could happen. Excerpt from the novel.... I wouldn't mind a bit more of that novel. |
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| Author: | TMLCrow [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
| Author: | JJHolden [ Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: OCTOBER STORIES 2011 |
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