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[ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4671: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4672: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3815) Horror World • View topic - OCTOBER STORIES 2011
He Who Has Beautiful Eyes that Are a Blessing From God
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:51 am Posts: 3583 Location: Toronto
So,
Across the Street - Thad The Deal - Janet (I think she basically admitted that she wrote it) My Sister / The Beach - Me
No one else has revealed what they wrote.
_________________ Mike Styczen: As far as I can tell, all of Toronto is on the lookout for some sort of demented leprechaun. If Toronto didn't exist, we'd have to invent it
I wrote Walker. It was a true story. The characters all existed and they all died the way they died in the story. The Shawnee Jim part was fiction. I think the walker bothered us so much because we were faced with something beyond our understanding and we felt at its mercy. Something we couldn't see had crossed over into our world, and for whatever reason, we were just beyond its reach while it stalked us. If we had climbed down that tree during the night none of us believed we would have survived. It was enough to keep us out of those woods at night from then on.
He Who Has Beautiful Eyes that Are a Blessing From God
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:51 am Posts: 3583 Location: Toronto
Across the Street - Thad The Deal - Janet (I think she basically admitted that she wrote it) My Sister / The Beach - Me Walker - Dennis Latham
_________________ Mike Styczen: As far as I can tell, all of Toronto is on the lookout for some sort of demented leprechaun. If Toronto didn't exist, we'd have to invent it
Well, it's been a few days now, so I feel safe in "coming out" (as it were)... I wrote "Gamorrah Falls" and, no, it wasn't based on anything I'd ever experienced. Completely fiction, except for the term 'Nihasa' for the mythical Native American devils.
It was a fun exercise and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was highly entertaining and more than a little intimidating to read the other stories: you guys and gals are GOOD. Really good. Nothing anyone submitted read like an exercise -- this was a quality anthology.
And, in response to a few suppositions, you're right -- I'm really NOT any kind of a short story writer. A short story from me is usually in the 8000 - 14,000 word range, so trying to put what I did in Gamorrah Falls was a real challenge and a bit frustrating since my instincts were for it to "flesh itself out" inside another 10,000 words ... minimum.
Thanks to you all for your kind words and suggestions!
_________________ "We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe."
He Who Has Beautiful Eyes that Are a Blessing From God
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:51 am Posts: 3583 Location: Toronto
Across the Street - Thad The Deal - Janet My Sister / The Beach - Me Walker - Dennis El Maestro - Craig Gamorrah Falls - Joseph
_________________ Mike Styczen: As far as I can tell, all of Toronto is on the lookout for some sort of demented leprechaun. If Toronto didn't exist, we'd have to invent it
Not sure if I said this before but I want to thank everybody, from our moderator right through to our readers. Amazing stories, good critique that went way beyond 'This sux/is cool'. Rob at the helm and an excellent mix of writers. Can't ask for anything better. This has been a wicked experience for me.
I also appreciate the comments and I really enjoyed all the stories. It was a pleasant surprise to see all the bizarre minds at work.
My wife asked me last night, as we watched The Walking Dead, why zombies are so popular. I didn't really have an answer. My nine year old grand-daughter has become a zombie freak under my reign. Last year on Halloween she was a zombie butterfly and this year she will be a zombie prom queen. I didn't have an answer for my wife except to say maybe it's our way of having control over life and death; the dead can come back and we have the power to kill them again.
I think horror stories here do the same thing. They give us power over our nightmares.
I always looked at the whole zombie thing as sins coming back to bite us. I've always noticed that even the sweetest people, and the most innocent, come back as zombies to take a chunk outta us. If you believe in zombies or accept the concept anyway (even if it's just a fictional trope) then you believe in the supernatural, thus God. Would God let little babies come back as an evil creature? If so, there must be a reason.
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:58 pm Posts: 6411 Location: The Back of Beyond.
Hey, it's still October, so I'm not late in commenting: (It's been a chaotic month! )
The Deal: Excellent story. The descriptions and atmosphere conjured some creepy images in my mind. I liked it a lot. Short and powerful; a good combination for any story. The author should maybe rewrite it a couple times and then submit it to an anthology somewhere.
_________________ "There's no law, no law anymore - I wanna steal from the rich and give to the poor." ~The Ramones~
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:58 pm Posts: 6411 Location: The Back of Beyond.
Gammorah Falls: I liked this one a lot too. The weirdness of the crow jars made me think of Steve Vernon; it sounded like something he would have come up with. I think with some editing, this could be another one that could wind up in an anthology one day. Good job to the author.
_________________ "There's no law, no law anymore - I wanna steal from the rich and give to the poor." ~The Ramones~
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:58 pm Posts: 6411 Location: The Back of Beyond.
Walker: Man, this story took me right back to when Halloween was Halloween. It made me think of times as a kid, when I'd be walking up a dark driveway to knock on a door, and someone would jump out of the bushes with a whacked out mask on and wind up scaring the shit out of me.
I wouldn't really change too much at all on this one. It would be a perfect story for a collection of campfire-like Halloween tales. Whoever the author was, excellent job.
_________________ "There's no law, no law anymore - I wanna steal from the rich and give to the poor." ~The Ramones~
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:58 pm Posts: 6411 Location: The Back of Beyond.
Excerpt: This one reminded me of those prologue-type intros in italics, that H.P. Lovecraft had in a lot of his stories. I liked the whole idea of the story, and think with some polishing it could become really good. I rate it another good story, though.
_________________ "There's no law, no law anymore - I wanna steal from the rich and give to the poor." ~The Ramones~
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 12:14 am Posts: 1454 Location: Kitchener, ON
I finally got around to reading the first four stories on here, which are really good as usual. I am trying to be as honest as possible, so I want to apologize if I hurt anyone’s feeling in advance. It is just my opinion and I am basing it my likes\dislikes and experiences alone.
I also want to point out that I did not read ahead in this thread because if it is anything like the past, some stories do not remain anonymous. I read these stories still with this surprise element intact.
The Deal
I love the use of language within this story and its potential is immense. It would serve as an awesome introduction to a bigger work. To be constructive, the story needed to deliver more for a short work. I like that the beginning sucked me right into the thick of things. I was ready to bite the bait as it led me along, but then Joey left the room. I felt cheated, but I don’t think everyone will feel this way. The author decided to go with the emotional angst, where I would have preferred the POV to remain in the room where the action was taking place. I like my horror extreme, as you can probably tell. I think word count was the killer for me on this one.
The thing that amazed me the most in this story was how seamless the change of POV occurred. Starts with Evan, dialogue and you before you know it, you are walking out with Joey with no impact to the flow of the story. That’s a gift.
Gamorrah Falls
I thought that this story fit the topic of this exercise in spades. Well written. It needed more dialogue and the flashback felt long for a short-story. When I was pulled back into real time, I felt like I was attached to a maximumly-stretch out elastic that had been let go. I feel for this author because I have the same problem. The rest near perfect.
Walker
This story also fit the topic in spades. Awesome dialogue interaction transporting the reader into the story with ease. I was hoping for blood, but that is just my personal preference. Try to avoid repetition with things words like “but”. Reword the sentence or cut it down to two sharp and direct sentences while still conveying the same message:
“The tree house would be easy to spot if you knew where to look, but no one knew but our gang.”
Something like,
“The tree house would be easy to spot if you knew where to look but only members of the gang knew of its location.”
Across The Street
I like this story quite a bit. It had an excellent hook in the beginning that kept me engaged for the rest of the story. I thought this story was going supernatural, but it took an unexpected turn towards realism a la Braunbeck or Dallas. Good stuff. The fast forward in time worked well. The story did not come out bloated at all, while still consistently moving forward.
He Who Has Beautiful Eyes that Are a Blessing From God
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:51 am Posts: 3583 Location: Toronto
It kinda sucks when your story has been posted in the bottom half.
_________________ Mike Styczen: As far as I can tell, all of Toronto is on the lookout for some sort of demented leprechaun. If Toronto didn't exist, we'd have to invent it
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