Friends: just wanted to let you know that I arrived safely and on time in Wroclaw Poland and am happily installed at the Orbis Hotel. This place KICKS ASS. Tomorrow there's a good sized convention at an 800 year old castle that's even reputed to be haunted. It's MY kind of place. I ate at a Polish McDonald's which I can only describe as outstanding--believe it or not. Better than any McDonald's I've ever been to. I only have two complaints about this country: 1, they need a friggin Walmart (I went to a drug store for bandaids and they didnt have them) and 2, there don't seem to be ANY ice machine's here. I'm a diet Coke addict and I gotta have it with ice but that's a big no-go. Twice I've asked for ice at Mcdonalds and they DIDN'T give it to me. Tonight I went to the hotel bar and ordered a coke zero with "lots of ice" and the Waldo Von Erik-looking bar tender gave me 3 cubes. I drank the soda very quickly, then put the cubes into my pocket and took them upstairs---serious. Aside from that, this is the best city I've ever had the pleasure of being in. I'll be back on the board very soon to tell you how the con went (and what the reaction was to the Bighead teaser. (smokeyling got in tonight.) Everybody have a great weekend!

Edward Lee

Sounds like a killer place! You'll have an awesome time, for sure. Enjoy!

Ryan H

LEE!!! Sounds amazing, man! You must take pictures of that castle! I know you, Mike, and Geoff will have a blast with all the die-hard fans over there! So excited for all of you!

Bob

Great to hear, Ed! As for the ice problem...ice is primarily an American thing. When I was in Europe, the water on ship was so chlorinated it tasted like ass.

Tony

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"What?Is man merely a mistake of God's?Or is God merely a mistake of man's?"-Frederick Nietzsche

Damn, I've been here a week already--seems like 2 days. Anyway, thus far, things could not have gone better. The convention at the Castle was stellar and easily the best convention facility I've ever encountered. The lower warrens of this castle are so creepy. I wish I could shot some movie footage there. Anyway, the Bighead teaser showing went terrific as well (I think several patrons walked out, which I considered a positive endorsement.) On Monday I went to a nearby town called Opole and was interviewed on the radio, then the local tv station, and I had a horror-fan talk in a very high class hotel. This, too, all went wonderfully. I've gotten some writing done on my "Polish" novel, plus a ton more local color (there was an evil saint here in the middle ages. He's in my book whether he likes it or not!) In another hand, my 2 and a half year-long "couple beers a month" dictum is way out the window. The beer here is so good and so well made and free of preservatives that it'd be criminal not to drink! Today's a religious holiday so the city seems half-abandoned; I did solve the ice problem, though; my agent took me to a mall yesterday where there are many servicable stores, very American-like, and there was a best Buyish place where I got an insulated cooler. There's a BP station right in front of my hotel where they sell--yes!--ice! Problem solved. Also got a great camera tripod and other movie stuff at very reasonable prices. Oh,, and I got a great picture of me and Bighead director Mike Ling standinig on a famous walkway underwhich 21 headless corpses are buried. If I knew how to post it, I would! Next week I have several "shoots" lined up, one in which my agent gets his brains blown out by Cornface and the brains hit his girlfriend in the mouth. Cool. Since I got here the hotel has been crowded but yesterday there seemed a mass exodus (perhaps due to the religious holiday). Anyway, last night the very nice housekeeper woman kind of chuckled and said in broken English "Tonight you have floor all to yourself!" and then gave me the oddest of expressions. Immediately, of course, I thought of the nameless protagonist in Shadow Over Innsmouth, and kept an ear out for irregular, "slopping-like" footfalls and gushing whispers. It as an interesting night! I'll touch base again very soon. Until then, everybody take care and be well!

Edward Lee

Wow, man, sounds like an awesome time, Lee! I would make a dorky statement about kielbasa and pierogies...but how's the food? I'm half-Polish, so had to ask...

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The most curious thing about the food here is that everything is outstanding; on an average I'd can only describe it as superior. Whether keilbasa, perogies, pizza, spaghetti, or friggin potato chips, everything is great. The difference between a US mcdonalds and a Polish mcdonalds is mindblowing. I can't imagine why. Even the sushi here is great. (And they have McShrimp, which I've never seenbefore!) They also have this fast food fish place called North Fish. It's simple steam table food but it's the best fried fish I've probably ever had. And another thing Poles take very seriously is smoked fish. Grocery stores are packed with multiple varieties, Never had smoked salmon as good as the stuff here (and it was only 3 bucks!) and they have this gorgeous shiny maroon smoked tuna which is unutterably delicious. Hell, I've never even SEEN smoked tuna in the states. I'm serious, this is a one of a kind vacation destination (as long as it's in the summer!) EVERYTHING is terrific and a third less expensive than in US.

The only hassle this trip has been uncharacteristically cold drizzly weather. Evidently its common practive to supply each apartment unit with a washer and dryer; hence there're very few laundramats. Yesterday I took a cab all the way across town to do laundry. Poor old German lady in there working her tail off. I did a ton of laundry and it only cost 5 bucks. I gave the German lady the equivalent of a 6 dollar tip and I thought she was gonna start crying! Then, know it all me thinks he knows the lay of the land now, so I decided to walk back to my hotel. What resulted instead was a trip to the Twilight Zone. To get back I had to cross a bridge called Grundwald Bridge. Then I followed others down several stairwells, proceeded several miles in what I thought was the right direction, then found myself facing the bridge I'd just crossed! I tried this 3 friggin times and each way I ventured, no matter which direction, I kept coming back to that damn bridge! Plus is was raining! Picture my 56 year old American ass staggering around Poland in steady rain with a laundry sack slung over my back. I looked for cabs but there were none, and calling one on a phone is about as likely as me figuring out how to launch the space shuttle. I was walking down these cobblestone roads in teeming rain, laughing out loud. I'm surprised no one called the cops! Just when I was about to have a meltdown and heave my fuckin' laundry into the Odra River, a cab miraculously appeared and I got back. Lastnight the hotel filled up with Germans, while the ton of Japanese were still here. The dining room looked like an Axis Powers reunion. Sat in the bar last night drinking Piast, which is great, but then the bar ran out of draft beer and I thought the Germans were gonna start another war! It was hilarious! Anyway, every day here is fascinating one way or another, and, yes, I've even gotten work done on my Polish novel. It's gonna kick ass (I'll have to find out how to say that in Polish!) Now I'm gonna stuff my face with smoked fish and write some more. I'll report back again soon!

Sincerely
Edward Lee
PS--did I previously mention what sounded like a lesbian orgy in the room next to mine several nights ago? It made for a very interesting evening!

If they've got lots of lesbian orgies in Poland, I better start looking into a passport.

Ryan H.

Man, last night I was sitting in the bar and I thought there was gonna be a fight between the German business men and the Polish staff. The German's were REALLY PISSED that the beer tap was so slow! Two more days I got caught in sudden torrential downpours and, yes, both times I'd still left my new rainjacket in the hotel. One day I'll grow a brain. I''ve continued to have one outstanding meal after another; and there's this food court place called Sphinx that sell a whole rack of grilled ribs with some middle eastern seasoning, and they were just outstanding (and only 10 bucks) Food court food, here, has continuously proved to exist at a much higher level of quality than US food courts. Its so bizarre. The only thing I've had here that I haven't liked is the pickled herring (which I normally like but Europeans are heavy into all this jelly stuff in such things) and shrimp skewers. The skewers were in face so bad I wanted to throw them back at the cook like darts but then they brought the perogies out and they were so good I wanted to do a rebel yell. And after that I had a pasta dish that was simply the best I've ever had (and I'm not even a big pasta fan). Ah, but my biggest news is that this morning I shot a longish Cornface scene in which two good friends volunteered to me murder victims. They were real troopers! Two stabbings, one strangling, some wonderful profanity, and lots of blood pumps all over one of the volunteers. I couldn't be happier, and I'm convinced I have the potential to become one of the best terrible directors in history! Tomorrow's my last day, then I return to FL and reality. But I've said it before and I'll say it again; if you're looking for an utterly unique vacation that is high quality yet inexpensive, come to Wroclaw, Poland! Everyone take care and be well! I'll talk to you all soon,

Edward Lee