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| Blue Sky Winter (A Christmas Tale) http://horrorworld.org/msgboards/viewtopic.php?f=125&t=13764 |
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| Author: | BBerntson [ Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Blue Sky Winter (A Christmas Tale) |
(Hardly a horror story, but plenty of darkness...at least on the emotional side) Several years ago, I wrote a bundle of novellas ranging from sixty to one hundred pages. Altogether, there were about nine of them. I was going through some painful emotions in my early sobriety after finally kicking the drinking habit of almost fifteen years, along with a drug habit of much longer. (I think, all things considered, I was pretty lucky to come out as unscathed as I had. Unscathed, but not unscarred). There were plenty of brutal mood swings. For a time, I was on anti-depressants, seeing a therapist, longing for things I didn’t have, and for the most part, just trying to stay sane. It was a very emotional time in many ways, and it lasted much longer than I’d hoped. I was always trying to hang on to a sense of spirit and optimism while going though all this, but it wasn’t easy. Still isn’t. It never really leaves you. I had gone through some painful ordeals with women, insecurities, fears, my past, the whole damn thing, along with some painful realizations about myself as a writer and as a man. I have always been a sensitive individual. Maybe it comes with writing. On top of all that, it got pretty heavy and burdensome. At least for me. A stronger individual might’ve had better luck. But at my age, dealing with my past, drinking, more bad relationships, and trying to become a published author, had become a bit trying. So, I dealt with it the only way I knew how. I wrote. Most of what I wrote were journal entries, ceaseless, tiresome rantings on emotion and pain, things that didn’t have anything to do with alcoholism, drug addiction, insecurities, or relationships, or anything of the sort. They were ceaseless outpourings of emotion. Things I believed we could all relate to at one time or another, not because of our differences but because we are, in fact, all human. I wrote and wrote, but nothing seemed to help. Then one day I thought: “Why not write about all these emotions in the third person, add in some of your imagination, and see what happens?” So, that’s what I did. Granted, at the time, I thought I’d never publish them, let alone allow anyone to see them. They were too dense, introspective, emotional, dark, heavy, and repetitive. In today’s world, with American readership, I didn’t think it possible anyone would understand them, let alone like them. But some of that stuff (though touching on the same themes: shadow, pain, memory, time, the past, hope, fear, dreams, love, and darkness) I thought was beautifully imaginative, even lyrical. Several years ago, during the holidays, I thought it would be fun to write a Christmas piece. I was still going through the painful emotions, but I was also feeling the Christmas Spirit. I am a huge fan of Dickens. And, at this time of year, I savor him mightily. At the time, he was having a huge influence on me. Dickens is perfect for the holidays, or any time of year, but when the snow falls, nothing sounds better to me then keeping the house in order, cozy in the recliner with a cup of cocoa, and good ole Charlie. Blue Sky Winter was the result of all that. Over the years, I have cut, structured, edited, rewritten, and endeavored to make this piece not so much a cathartic outpouring, but an actual story. It might have a bit more introspection than your average, contemporary tale, but I personally think it’s all the better for it. I like my fiction with meat and potatoes. Some do not. If you’re looking for a quick read, lots of light-hearted dialogue, than this is probably not the story for you. I wanted to capture the reality of emotion and pain, the hope for the future, the warm, holiday cheer, all the while coming to grips with the past, the children we have been, the people we turn into, and the magic of bringing all of that into balance in a way that was warm, festive, bright, and creative. I felt it deserved an explanation, though I hope it still warms and gladdens your heart while also stretching your imagination. If I’ve done that, than I’ve succeeded. There is a lot of truth and brutal honesty here, and I was just trying, in my own autobiographical way, to make something beautiful and imaginative out of the pain and frustration I went through. I love what these novellas turned into, this one especially. They helped me immeasurably on a cathartic level, but as far as versatility, they are not so different. They all touch upon similar themes of darkness, pain, the past, memory, time, hope, want, love, and the imagination in some form or another…but I think that can be truly said of all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed… …I mean… I hope this tale find you well this holiday season. http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Sky-Winter-C ... 44&sr=1-11 |
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